"Zoe on the Run" is the thirty-second mission of The Home Front.
Hello Citizens! Zoe's on a supply run, Phil is keeping an eye on the zoms, and you? You're the moral support.
EXERCISES: Side-to-Side Shuffle, Bicep Curl, High Knees, Jumping Jack
Cast[]
Plot[]
Shivering and Shaking[]
Phil is on the radio station roof erecting a tarpaulin. He tells you that Zoe has ventured out now the horde has died down a little, to fetch some much-needed supplies. He's going to keep watch in case he can help her. He is startled by a noise, but it's just the wind! That's left him shaking, so try shaking as well to get yourself warmed up!
Chocolate Overload[]
Phil has spotted Zoe sneaking into the pet shop. Maybe if you do the movements with her, it'll help will her along. First up, Side-to-Side Shuffle! If you want to push yourself, imagine you're grabbing something from the very top shelf when you get to each end of the shuffle. Good job! Try to find a couple of tins or filled water bottles ready for the next exercise!
Impromptu Zombie Bludgeon[]
Phil can see some zoms in the distance and they seem to be heading in Zoe's direction. He hopes that Zoe hurries up. Grab the tins that you have for now, and do some Bicep Curls! Good job. Always remember that impromptu weights can be hurled at zombies to give you time to run in the other direction.
Ankle Biters[]
Zoe has emerged, carrying a truly enormous amount of stuff in her pack. She needs to start moving quickly though, and might need a plan B if she's too weighted down with those supplies. The next exercise is the next best thing to making a dash for it - High Knees! It's an excellent way to avoid having your ankles bitten by crawlers. Good job!
Check-in[]
Phil can see some zoms ahead that Zoe can't. Grab something to wave and make some noise as you do Jumping Jacks to get her attention! It's a big movement and their agreed-upon signal. She seems to have spotted you and is changing direction. Phil's going to check if there are any messages from her on Rofflenet.
Crick and Cheeseman Out![]
Zoe's arrived back at her menagerie and is safe there with her supplies. She's sent a thank you message for the Jumping Jacks; they really did catch her attention. You're a genuine life-saver!
Transcript[]
PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hello out there, ci-ti-zens. Hope you can hear me. I’m up on the radio station roof and it’s a bit brisk at the moment. Uh, let me see if I can adjust the tarpaulin while you do some warming up exercises.
[tarp rustles] There we go. Not quite as good a fix against the, um, the wind as Zoe might have come up with. Just last week she repaired a broken headset using gaffer tape, paper clips, and pieces from a gerbil water bottle. But she’s busy venturing outside to grab some much needed supplies for the pets at the kennel where she’s riding out the lock-in. Apparently, one Snuffles McCheeseman needs a heating blanket, and there’s concern about mange, and anyway, she couldn’t be talked out of it.
Uh, the horde’s dispersed a little for now, leaving her a clear path between the kennel and the nearest abandoned pet shop, but you never can be too careful. So I’m going to stand watch and I thought we could, you know, kind of keep her company? Of course, I’m not sure if she can hear us because the headset’s still a bit wonky and I haven’t heard anything from her since she left, but I’m not worried or anything.
Where was I? Oh, not a zom. Just the wind. [sighs, then laughs] I think I’m more nervous than she is. Let’s calm down together with a full body shake to throw off all those worries and what-ifs. Uh, I’ve got the perfect song for it. Just press this button here and get ready to shake!
PHIL CHEESEMAN: I’ve just had my first Zoe spotting. It’s a little far off to make her out fully, but she’s come out from an alleyway and gone straight into the pet store to stock up.
[laughs] Sneaking around, taking supplies. Reminds me of a certain two-person mission Zoe and I cooked up a few months back, Operation Taste-Test. Without revealing too much, uh, let’s just say that Zoe and I conducted a secret impromptu taste test of the massive stash of chocolate some of the Demons and Darkness players had socked away. Just for quality control, of course.
Since I can’t be with her this time, I thought if we did the actions Zoe’s doing, we could sort of… will her along? I mean, she can’t see or possibly even hear me, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Anyway, that means it’s time for some side to side shuffles, like we’re darting around staying away from the zoms and getting the supplies we need.
Start by putting your legs shoulder-width apart, bend your knees slightly and bring your hands up in loose fists in front of your shoulders. Now lower your body slightly, about halfway between standing and squatting. Pick whichever level is right for you. There are plenty of supplies on the lowest and highest shelves in our imaginary store today. Now move your feet to the side, but stepping to the right with your right foot just a little bit, then stepping your left foot into the space your right foot was before you moved it. Do that about three more times or until you reach the end of whatever space you’re shuffling in, then go back the way you came, starting with your left foot.
Now that you’re ready, we’ll pick up the pace. Shuffle back and forth as quickly as works for you to the right and then the left. We’ll do this for a minute. Oh, just think how much that chinchilla’s going to appreciate being all snug and warm. 15 seconds down. This is just like the shuffling Zoe and I did between all those boxes of chocolates, by the way. Back and forth, nibble and chew. Halfway through. If you want to add some extra oomph, pretend you’re grabbing something from the very top shelf when you get to the end of your shuffles to each side, maybe a new outfit for Snuffles. Only 15 seconds left to go. You can do this, just pace yourself. Don’t, say, eat 50 old chocolate truffles and put yourself out of commission for two days.
And done. Nice work. While I play this song and you shake out your legs, uh, see if you can find something real to hold onto from your cupboard for our next exercise. A can that fits nicely in your hands, a filled water bottle, or a light weight that you can easily lift. See you back here after this song.
PHIL CHEESEMAN: Come on, Zoe, you’ve been in the store for ages. Now is not the time to be double checking if the kitty chow ingredients are organic. I can see some zoms in the distance that seem like they may be shambling in your direction. They aren’t that close to you now, but if you don’t head out soon, they’ll block your way back.
Uh, maybe pick up some of those extra heavy cans of food in case you need them for some zom walloping? It’ll be just like that time you used whatever was lying around to make sunburn cream for me. [laughs] I still think you made it smell like that on purpose, but I'm not sure how you got it to seem like wet socks and a pack of flatulent skunks, but it did get rid of my sunburn, and you did have your whole bathroom smelling just as bad, so I was grateful. [sighs] Just hurry, Zo!
For the rest of us, let’s put our own cans or weights or whatever we have to good use with some bicep curls. Pick up your improvised weights, one in each hand, and stand with your legs shoulder-width apart and knees slightly bent. Now turn your arms so that your palms are facing upwards. Find a position that feels comfortable for you. For each curl, you’ll raise your forearms until your hands are right in front of your shoulders and then lower them back down until they’re back to the original position. You can raise them both at the same time or one and then the other, depending on what works better for you.
And let’s start now. You can imagine you’re lifting an adorable kitten in each hand if that helps, or the rodent of your choice. 15 seconds in. Try to control your movement up and down. Steady motion, no need to rush. You’re halfway through, and always remember, impromptu weights can be hurled at zombies while running in the opposite direction, if needed. 15 seconds to go and for the record, I was not suggesting that you throw any impromptu weights now. Unless a zombie is working out with you, or you are Zoe.
And with that, we’re done. Set your impromptu weights down somewhere that you won’t trip over them and shake those arms out to the next song. Or do some more curls if you’re feeling up to it.
PHIL CHEESEMAN: Zoe, I don’t want to rush you, but if you can hear me, those zoms I was telling you about are moving. Oh, there you are, coming out the pet shop. Finally! From this distance, I can’t tell if you’re waving at me or trying to balance a truly massive haul in that pack you brought, but either way, you need to start moving quickly back towards the kennel, and you may need a plan B just in case all those supplies slow you down.
Remember that time we tried to figure out if there was such a thing as a one person McShell maneuver, and you said if you figured it out, it would be called the McZelle, and I said if I did, it’d be called the McCheese, and then we got sidetracked into a discussion of the best burger toppings? Well, I’m hoping all that outside the box thinking will spark an escape plan for you.
In the meantime, we’re all going to be running along with you. All right, everyone. For this exercise, we’ll be doing the next best thing to making a dash for it: high knees. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and begin running in place. Now bring your knees up higher as you run and swing your arms to maintain your balance.
Ready? Go. It might look a bit silly, but it’s an excellent way to avoid bites from crawlers. 15 seconds in. It’s working, I think. Zoe’s making great time back to the kennel. Halfway done. Keep those knees a-coming. Only 15 seconds left to go. See if you can pick up the pace as we finish out the minute.
And done. Phew! Catch your breath during this next song while I keep an eye on Zoe and the zoms. Nearly there, Zoe!
PHIL CHEESEMAN: All right, Zoe, almost back to the… Wait, hold on. Stop running, I can see some zoms ahead of you, lurking in an alleyway to your left. If you keep going straight, they’ll spot you for sure. Zoe? Zoe, can you hear me? Turn around! Damn, I knew that stupid headset wasn’t working. We need to get her attention. She can get back to the kennel, but she’s gonna have to go the long way around.
Um, everyone, please make some noise and uh, let’s do jumping jacks. I know it sounds mad, but I told Zoe that’s how I’d signal her if anything went wrong because it’s a big motion and it’s easy to spot. If you’re in New Canton, get up on the ramparts where Zoe can see you and if you have something to wave, grab it. I made the world’s brightest signal flags from a pair of neon undergarments I found in the radio station and will very much not be asking Zoe about. But if nothing’s available, your hands will do fine.
I know you’re still probably tired from those high knees, but you can do this. Standard jacks. Start with your feet together and hands at your side, then jump your feet outwards and bring your arms up and to the side like you’re waving someone down - which you are - and then back down. We’ve only got about a minute, but she should be looking out for the signal. If you get her attention, wave her back the way she came.
All right, go. She’d kill me if she could hear me saying it, but Zoe’s problem is she’s too softhearted. She does the best to hide it under all that sarcasm, but I know. I always have. Well, almost always. Only 15 seconds in, and I think she sees us. She’s stopped where she is and those zoms in the alley ahead… haven’t spotted her! Keep jumping! Yes, I think she’s seen us. It looks like she’s doubling back, but we’ll keep jumping just in case. She’s going the right way now, yes! Give her some thumbs up in your jumping jacks for those last 15 seconds so she knows to keep going.
Okay, Zoe’s safely headed in the right direction. You can stop jumping. Well done, everyone. I can’t see the last few twists and turns she’s making from where I am, so I’m going back down to see if she sent any word on ROFFLEnet. In the meantime, congratulate yourselves on helping her get out of a tough spot, maybe with a little boogie. Oh, here’s a great song for that.
PHIL CHEESEMAN: Sigh of relief, everyone. Zoe’s checked in and she’s safe and sound and back with her menagerie, who are now surrounded by the best pet food, toys, supplies, treats, and who knows what else an enterprising, not to say reckless, woman can find. Hopefully it’s enough that she shouldn’t have to venture out again anytime soon. Not sure my nerves could take it. Here’s the thing though. She saw us. Not all of us, but enough, doing those mad jumping jacks while she was running.
Listen to this. “You saved my life, Cheeseman, even though it took me a few moments to realize it wasn’t the world’s worst attempt at doing the wave. In all seriousness though, I could feel it. The whole time I was out there, I could tell that you and all our listeners were right there with me, trying to get me back safely. Even though my headset had conked out, that feeling is how I knew I’d be okay. Tell everyone I said thank you.” And there you have it. Thank you from both of us. You’re genuine lifesavers. Crick and Cheeseman out.
Codex[]
Letter[]
Hi Runner Five,
I know you’re still in the field at the moment, but I wanted to leave you these* for when you get back as a thank you for keeping Phil company, even if it’s just by tuning into our frequency for a bit. I know he can get a bit jumpy when I take too long on a supply trip, and I think it helps to know he has friends out there. It certainly helps me.
Hope you’re staying well and safe, wherever you are. Feel free to swing by for a visit when you’re back - we have a couple of new furry (and scaly!) friends you could help us name!
-Zoe
*Can confirm these haven’t gone off yet, though… the box may be a little on the light side. We had to test them! Sam would absolutely murder us if we gave one of his favourite runners food poisoning!
Supplies[]
The following supplies can be found in this mission.
(List may be incomplete.)
Anti-depressants
Baseball Bat
Board game
Candles
First Aid Kit
Flashlight
Football
Laptop
Makeup
Mobile Phone
Overcoat
Shirt
Shorts
Sports Bra
Trainers
Umbrella
Underwear
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