"Thurman of the Hour" is the thirty-third mission of The Home Front.
Captured by the Thurmanbots, you need to escape before they can complete their mysterious ritual!
EXERCISES: Forearm Plank, Abdominal Crunch, Commando Crawl, Chair Dip, Kick
Cast[]
Plot[]
His Instrument[]
You wake up in a cell to the sound of Thurman's voice over the tannoy. His robot doubles captured you and threw you in here. The robots enter the room and instruct you to begin warming up. They know you aren't Brandon, but you will do for whatever plan they have in store.
Maker's Essence[]
Thurman says that if you're hearing this, then his body is decayed beyond repair, but Crowley did have a ritual to ressurect someone in the body of another person. The Thurmanbots instruct you to take a Plank position over a spike covered in Thurman's spinal fluid as part of the ritual. When you fall on the spike, Thurman's spirit will possess you. As you Plank, you hear Sam's voice; he tells you to stay strong, the ritual is total gibberish but a spike through the stomach is no joke. The minute passes and the Thurmanbots are confused about why you haven't fallen yet. They will investigate and make things right.
Overloaded[]
Sam has managed to hack one of the speakers for Thurman's tannoy, which is hidden inside a skull. You need to grab the skull, and keep low as you scoot over to the door. There's a crank on the side of the generator, so use an Abdominal Crunch movement to help you reach the handle. Good job! The generator has blown the fuse on one of the Thurmanbots. Get out of there, and try cranking the other generators to keep the Thurmanbot down longer!
In the Clear?[]
You reach an enormous cavern which is still being enlarged by a drilling machine. It looks like the vibrations are what's keeping the zombie superhorde from dispersing. Unfortunately, the Thurmanbots are coming after you. You need to Commando Crawl under the drill machine. Keep going until you're in the clear!
Rivals[]
If you pull yourself onto the top of the drill, you can reach a catwalk above. It shouldn't be any more difficult than doing Chair Dips. You'll have to be quick because the Thurmanbots are coming after you. While you climb, Sam tries to appeal to the Thurmanbots; why would they want Thurman back? He'd see them as rivals and destroy them. It seems to work! One of the Thurmanbots attacks the other. Unfortunately, they've also decided that you are a rival. Get up to that catwalk quickly!
No Happy Ending[]
You've made it to the top, and have found a control panel. The surviving Thurmanbot is climbing after you, so Kick down the scaffolding. You manage to send it crashing to the ground, and it takes the Thurmanbot with it, smashing it into pieces.
Supervillain Speech[]
Sam tries to override the door lock, but suddenly everything begins to flash red and a recording of Thurman plays. He says that if things have got this bad, his drills will start to destroy the land, and then carve Thurman's face into the hills for future generations to worship. The console shows the path of one of the drills. It's going to come up right through Abel!
Transcript[]
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Good morning, Brandon. Welcome to another day in your very own Thurman-brand confinement cube. Now I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t it a little harsh of Art Thurman to lock his own son up in a windowless cell? Nonsense! You’ve got plenty of room in there! Enough to stretch out, jog, get your pulse racing.
So get started, you ungrateful sop, because you need to be alert and ready for today. If you’re hearing this, my Thurmanbots caught you escaping my bunker and put you away till they could complete certain preparations, but that’s all finished now, so it’s time to start the show. Get in here, boys.
[door clatters open]
You figured out they’re robots yet, Brandon, the two men running around with my face? Dumb as rocks, honestly, but loyal, which is more than you ever managed. I’m low on tape for these announcements, so I’ll let them take the floor. Don’t upset them, my little… it is Brandon, isn’t it? Or Bjorn or something? God, why was your mother so terrible with names?
THURMANBOT 1: You are not Brandon. Your designation is Runner Five. But Brandon has not come and you have shown promise. To damage us is no mean feat.
THURMANBOT 2: Your attacks crippled my voice. Even parts from my partner could not fix it. Because of you, we both sound weak, but our drive is stronger than ever. You found the master’s bunker, you passed the test here, left for Brandon. Although you do not resemble him in any way, you are healthy and strong, and so you may take the honor of his role in the maker’s plan. Continue warming up until your body is prepared for strain, then we will take you to the tomb of Thurman. Thurman’s time has come again and you will be his instrument.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: You passed my test, Brandon, so I know you’ve seen my burial chamber before. Do you like how the bots have redecorated? Skulls, pentagrams, candles everywhere, an altar by my glass coffin. They’re hard workers, my Thurmanators. They’ll protect me if I’m indisposed, gather the resources Thurmanville needs to flourish.
I shouldn’t be dead, Brandon, but if you’re hearing this, my body’s decayed beyond hope. Maybe Crowley’s rites couldn’t handle nuclear fallout after all, but Crowley had the perfect backup plan in his grimoire: the ritual of resurrection, the ability to revive one’s soul in another human being.
You can revive in anyone, man or woman, old or young, so long as they’re strong, but I chose you as my insurance. I knew you’d come looting my tomb like a chip off the old block. Those tests were meant to prime your soul for mine so I can steal your body, wear you like a $5,000 suit. I’ll be you soon, my boy. Just imagine your mother’s face.
THURMANBOT 1: Runner Five, a metal spike protruding from the center of the altar is covered in the maker’s spinal fluid. Adopt a plank position on the altar over it. Comply or we will force you.
THURMANBOT 2: That is it, Five. The ritual requires you be suspended over the spear of the maker’s essence. Keep your back straight, your weight on your hands and feet, and your belly over the spike. The ritual will take no more than 60 seconds. Begin the pre-recorded ambience. The ritual will flood you with the maker’s will. When his spirit overwhelms you, your arms will give and you will be pierced to the bone by his essence. He will rise, reborn with you as his host.
THURMANBOT 1: The maker’s spirit is weakening you. You are powerless to resist. Soon the spear will taste your blood.
SAM YAO: Five, we’re monitoring. Can you hear? There’s that rumbling again. Oh, what is that? Five, I know they took your headset. Don’t worry about how you can hear me. Keep planking. Don’t touch the spike. Maxine says the ritual’s like, total gibberish, but a spear through the belly’s no joke.
THURMANBOT 1: Something is wrong. The vessel should have fallen on the spear by now. We must review our preparations for error. The host may keep planking, if able. You must open your will to the maker, Five. His mind is beauty, embrace it.
THURMANBOT 2: We were his hope for preservation once, but science could not copy his full self into us. Where we failed, you can succeed.
THURMANBOT 1: To keep this image is an honor. Even our voices strengthen when they replay his. To be him is perfection. If no error can be found, we will try the ritual again and if necessary, we will lower you onto the spike ourselves.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Don’t go anywhere because I’m not finished yet!
SAM YAO: Five? Five, listen. I’ve got cams watching you in there. One of the bots just left the room, the other’s busy kneeling over the coffin. Now shuffle onto the floor next to the altar. See the big yellow skull at the end of the altar near where your head was? Now lean towards it. Yeah, that’s me. [laughs] Well, not literally, obviously. There’s a speaker inside, part of Thurman’s tannoy. I’ve hacked it. Sorry it’s taken so long to make contact. The Thurmans blocked our signal. Janine had to set up boosters.
The Thurmanbot’s doing something in the life support machine plugged into the coffin. That torn skin on his face looks nasty. I guess he’s the one you punched. You can see his creepy metal jaw. Now you need to get past him. That machine’s connected to a generator, the big orange box on the table to your left, and the bot’s fiddling with exposed wiring. Now slide over to the table. Take me with. I know, a bit weird carrying a skull. Now stay low so the altar blocks his view of you. Yeah, that’s it.
Now there’s a crank handle on the side of the generator to power it. Lie on your back under the table with your knees bent and feet flat. If you do stomach crunches, you can just about reach the handle. Keep your back straight and use your abs to curl your torso slightly off the floor. Pull the handle down towards you, then turn it as you rise and fall.
Okay? Okay. Get crunching, Five, now. That’s it, Five. The generator’s warming up. Hopefully we’ll blow a fuse in our mechanical friend. The generator’s pumping electricity into the wires. Yeah, I can see it arcing. The bot’s seizing in place! Yeah, yes, keep crunching. He’s trying to move. His head’s turning your way, but his hands are fused to the wires! Those glowing green eyes look angry. Pour it on, crunch faster! Oh God, there’s sparks coming off him. You must be frying circuits all over his body. The flesh on his face is burning, the metal’s melting. Don’t stop, Five!
[explosion] Stop, stop, Five! Five, the generator’s blown. I’d say you got him from the way he keeled over. His eyes are still glowing, but barely. Get out of that room while you can. Leave the skull. There’s an 80s Walkman radio thing by the coffin. Grab it, set it to Abel’s frequency.
Ah yeah, I can see a bunch of backup generators on plinths in the corridor outside. They’re all hooked into Thurman’s life support machine. You could crank them as you go by, keep the robot down a little longer. You’ll need to lie between the plinths and do more crunches to work the crank handles so you’re out of sight if the other robot comes along. Get moving, Five. Go!
SAM YAO: Stay alert, Five. We need to find you a safe route out of the bunker. Uh, try the door at the end of that ramp. [door clatters open] Oh wow, I expected more corridors, not a great big cave. Look at that machine up ahead, drilling into the rock. Huge yellow tube with a cone at the end. Kinda reminds me of the Mole from Thunderbirds. It’s even got caterpillar tracks. The side tunnel you’re in leads to a massive cavern. Looks like the drill’s digging out the cavern walls, expanding it. Guess that’s how Thurman built his underground town, and why his bunker rumbles.
Hang on… hang on. Zoms can sense vibrations. If that thing’s been here the whole time… Five, let me check. Oh my God, there are zoms on the surface following the path of the drill. I think they feel it burrowing. That’s why the superhorde loves our area, Thurman’s gear is keeping it from dispersing! Ah, the giant drill’s turning away from the rock wall. It’s coming your way, right up the slide tunnel!
THURMANBOT 1: Stop. Return. The ritual is begging.
SAM YAO: Oh hell, and the Thurmanbots are coming out of the bunker behind you! Five, you’ve got to crawl under the drill machine. Yeah, yeah, there’s a space between the tracks if you take it head on. It’s the only way. Get into a commando crawl position on your belly with your knees out at each side like a frog. Use your knees and forearms to crawl forward. Get moving. Go!
Oh yeah, the Thurmanbot you shocked is pretty singed, but he’s moving. Just-just what will it take to stop these things? Yeah, that’s it, Five. Crawl straight under the drill cone. Oh, it’s swirling right above you. Stay low. Now you’re getting under the main body of the drill. That’s about halfway. But the Thurmans are crawling after you. I can see them snatching at your ankles. Speed up!
THURMANBOT 2: Slow down, Five. You are gaining too much ground.
THURMANBOT 1: Don’t you dare let Thurman down.
SAM YAO: I think you’re there, Five, but there’s not much cam coverage in the tunnel. I can barely glimpse you through the caterpillar tracks. Keep crawling until you reach the other side. You’ll know when to stop before I do. Trust your judgment. Don’t stop until you’re clear.
SAM YAO: I see you, Five, behind the drill. Thank God you made it. Ah, the drill machine just came to a stop about where you entered the tunnel. Looks like there’s some kind of, uh, docking station. Yeah, a catwalk came out of the tunnel wall connected to a platform on top of the drill. There’s a bunch of scaffolding on the back of the drill. I guess the robots were doing repair work on it. Five, if you pull yourself up the scaffolding to the top of the drill, you can reach the catwalk. It might be a way out.
Remember helping Jody climb her warehouse, way back when? You did chair dips to stand for her pull-ups? She had you perch on the edge of an armless chair with your hands holding the edge on either side of you and your feet flat on the ground in front. Then you slid your backside off and raised yourself up and down with your arms. Now this won’t be any harder. Remember, it’s just like chair dipping.
Okay, go. Think about Jody, imagine her cheering you on. Oh, those bots are coming out from under the drill. Get up that scaffold, Five. The bots are climbing after you. Oh, hang on, I’ve got an idea. I’m hacking speakers in that tunnel. Uh, okay.
[over intercom] Hey, hey! Thurman, uh, robot people. Look, uh, just-just think this through. You don’t want Thurman back. He’d see you as competition, sell you off for scrap the moment you’re not useful.
[over headset] That’s it, Five, keep going.
[over intercom] Thurman betrayed his own son. Backstabbing is how he thinks. If you’re really like him, you know that. And you want to live forever, so do what he’d do in your place. Forget the ritual, leave poor Five alone.
[over intercom] Five, stop a second, catch your breath. I’m-I’m getting through to them! The damaged robot’s frozen on the scaffold. He’s… he’s diving at the other one, he’s-he’s attacking him. I think he’s on your side!
THURMANBOT 2: Thurman would destroy his rivals. You are a rival, and so is the monster.
SAM YAO: Oh hell. I don’t think he wants to help you, Five. I think I might have… I think I may have broken him. The robots are fighting. It’s slowing them down. You’re almost at the platform on top of the drill. Take the last bit of scaffolding at your own pace, whatever your arms can handle. Get yourself up there while they’re tearing each other to bits.
SAM YAO: Good, Five, you made it to the top. Now I think that platform’s a command deck for all the control panels. Oh! The damaged Thurman, he’s just tore his rival’s head off! Five, duck! He threw the severed head at you, nearly took yours off, too. Oh wow, he’s climbing fast! Quick, the scaffolding’s bolted to the back of the command deck. Kick away as much as you can. Aim carefully and don’t lock your knees when you kick. Stop him getting up there! Get kicking, Five.
That robot does not look happy. The way his face is charred and melted, it’s… ugh. Kick harder, Five. That scaffolding’s really bolted into place. You’ve got to stop the Thurmanbot reaching you. Keep kicking, Five. He’s over halfway to you. He’s-he’s dodging to avoid the falling poles.
THURMANBOT 2: Too slow, Runner Five. It’s all fun and games until Thurman is the last one standing. The host will be crushed, and I will be Thurman!
SAM YAO: He’s coming over the top! Kick away the beam he’s climbing on!
THURMANBOT 2: Go for Thurman! Go for Thurman! Go for Thurman! [screams]
SAM YAO: [sighs] It’s okay, Five, you can stop. He went down with the scaffolding, smashed to bits on the dirt. You know, I really thought I might be able to talk them around. You know, like the warlock in that D&D game? [laughs] Guess Thurman’s not a good fit for a happy ending.
The other robot’s head landed on the deck. Put it in your pack. Janine’ll want to take a look. You can rest a minute, Five. Although yeah, there’s still a bit of scaffolding left. Might as well kick it away. I don’t see any more robots, but we don’t want any new surprises from Thurman sneaking up behind you.
SAM YAO: We need to get you moving, Five. The catwalk connected to that command deck ends in a door, but it’s locked. Uh, I’m trying to override. [control panels beep, alarm blares] Five, what’s happening up there? The consoles on the command deck, are they - are they flashing red? This can’t be good.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: This message had better not ever play. Just thinking about it makes me furious. I liked the one where I became god of the radioactive mutants. I loved the ones for the Thurmanville baseball league. But this? All right, fine. For the sake of revenge.
Whoever you are - because Brandon hasn’t the wit - if you’re hearing this, you killed my robots and stopped my resurrection. I bet you think you’ve got one over on me. Well, guess what? Thurman has a backup backup plan. I have drills all over Thurmanville, expanding the tunnels. If I can’t come back, their orders switch to destroy.
They’ll smash the land, pulverizing anything the Russians haven’t bombed. And when they’re done, they’ll carve my face across the country, into every hill and mountain, for the survivors of whatever evolves next, to worship. Like Mount Rushmore, but me. Even if I’m gone, my image lasts forever, rising from your rubble, and that’s a Thurman guarantee!
SAM YAO: Oh God, Five, the control panel in front of you, it’s plotting a course for the drill. Look at it. The drill’s gonna drive right under Abel and then rise up, straight through it.
Codex[]
Letter[]
You know, the thing that drives me bonkers about people like Thurman is just... they have SO MUCH in the way of resources and time, and yet they always seem to choose their own ego over the people around them. Can you IMAGINE the difference Thurman could have made if he'd given even a fraction of a damn about anyone other than himself? Take Janine or Maxine, for instance - I couldn't even begin to count how many lives they've saved at this point, and they've done it all with next to nothing. Our runners have to work really, really bloody hard to find the resources we need to keep our township going and our people safe, whilst this sod had more money than GOD and decided to put all of it into... what, drills and horrifying Thurminator killbots? What a legacy. I'm hope Brandon, wherever he is, barely even thinks of him.
Stay strong, Five. I know it's been... frankly a total nightmare, but I'm so, so proud of you for hanging in there. We're doing everything we can to bring you home.
Love,
Sam
Supplies[]
The following supplies can be found in this mission.
(List may be incomplete.)
Anti-depressants
Board game
Candles
Cricket bat
Dress
First Aid Kit
Flashlight
Football
Mobile Phone
Pain Meds
Trainers
Umbrella
Underwear
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