There's been a murder - but do the survivors in the house know who else is there with them? And what secrets does the house hold? With Keith hysterical and Rose suspicious, it falls to Jody and Chris to act as detectives.
Cast[]
- Jody Marsh
- Chris McShell
- Manisha Plassard
- Keith Carroway
- Professor Walter Huebner
- Rose
- Geri Kim
- Sheila Anthwaite
Transcript[]
JODY MARSH: So, Callum’s been killed. We don’t even know if anyone can hear this broadcast. The only reason we can broadcast is because we found -
CHRIS MCSHELL: We should get to that at its proper point in the story, Jody.
JODY MARSH: [sighs] Fine! How are you so calm, Chris?
CHRIS MCSHELL: I’m not. But doing this – putting it all in order – makes me feel calmer. And… well, I can’t see. I’m… if there’s a murderer here, I’m more vulnerable than the rest of you.
JODY MARSH: Yeah, okay. So luckily, we have some field recorders with us. We’ve been recording what’s happened. We’re broadcasting it in case any of you hear it and can figure out what’s going on.
CHRIS MCSHELL: There are some clues already.
JODY MARSH: Are there?
CHRIS MCSHELL: Oh, yes. I suggest we play the tape from where we left off last time, just after Callum died.
JODY MARSH: Calmer to put it in order. Fine.
[recorder clicks]
MANISHA: He’s… he’s dead. Callum’s dead!
KEITH: [screams] Oh, I did an ITV drama like this once, and everyone was dead by teatime! It was heavy snow, not zombies, but – oh God! He’s going to become a zombie! We have to get him out of here!
PROF: Oh, for God’s sake.
JODY MARSH: He’s not turning, Keith. That’s not how it works. He’s just… he’s just dead.
KEITH: Well, then why are his lips that color?
CHRIS MCSHELL: What color’s that? Someone, tell me what you’re seeing!
ROSE: Aye, his lips are… his lips have gone black! Proper nasty.
GERI: Gross! But like, cool.
MANISHA: There’s discoloration to the fingernails, too. A blue-black pattern under the nail bed. I’ve never seen anything like it.
PROF: I have. No sense hiding it. He’s been exposed to one of my toxins. Look – there are blue flecks on his plate. Someone dosed his food with one of my compounds. That one restricts blood flow. Does nothing at all for the zombie virus, sadly.
ROSE: Someone? You’re the only one who’d have know how to poison him.
MANISHA: Oh God, you killed Callum! Callum’s dead! [cries]
PROF: No. That vial was labeled as highly toxic. And remember, I did say there was poison in my case. Anyone could have known that compound would kill.
CHRIS MCSHELL: And we all went back to the door when the bell rang. Any of us could have hung back for a moment to dose Callum’s food.
JODY MARSH: Except you and me. Remember, we lead the way so I could guide you. We went first and came back last. But if that vial said poison on it, it could have been any of you.
ROSE: Yeah, probably Doctor Death here with the case full of poisons.
GERI: Oh, just show us the bottle, Prof. Then we can stop hurling accusations.
PROF: Nothing could be easier. [opens case] Oh. Ah.
JODY MARSH: There’s one vial missing, Chris. To be fair, all of the others are also labeled “toxic.”
PROF: I’ve never met the man until today! It’s much more likely you killed him, Keith. He’d ruined you! Easy for you to pocket that vial and sprinkle some on Callum’s dinner. We’ve all seen how impulsive you are. Jody told me what you did to Chris.
KEITH: I didn’t kill him! I never would! Nish, Nish, tell them!
MANISHA: I don’t know! One of us did it, and you… you have the best motive!
GERI: It wasn’t necessarily one of us. [sighs] What, none of you have ever seen a horror movie? Could be someone else in the house.
KEITH: Oh no!
MANISHA: If we’re going to search the house, we can’t just leave Callum here.
PROF: No. He’ll eventually... deliquesce.
MANISHA: He’s going to dissolve? What the hell is in that stuff?
PROF: It’s… a certain compound.
GERI: There’s a cold storeroom off the kitchen. Prof, Rose, Jody, we weren’t friends with Callum, so let’s do a kindness to Manisha and Keith and move the body.
ROSE: Aye. Then we’ll search the house to learn the truth.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Take one of my field recorders with you. We can’t afford anyone to have private, off-the-record conversations now.
[recorder fast forwards]
GERI: So, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
JODY MARSH: Is it, “I almost prefer dead people who move by themselves now”?
PROF: I just want to reassure you all that there’s really very little chance that touching this body will cause us all to deliquesce.
JODY MARSH: Look! Bit of paper on the floor.
ROSE: Fell out of Callum’s pocket.
GERI: What’s on it?
[paper rustles]
JODY MARSH: Weird. It’s just the address of this place, and today’s date.
GERI: Well, maybe he kept a diary. Look, here’s what I’m thinking. I read a lot of murder mysteries – love that stuff – but why would anyone murder someone now?
JODY MARSH: Yeah, I was thinking that! The zoms are pressing against the fence. We could all be dead by this evening. Why murder someone?
ROSE: I can think of a few reasons. Old yearnings haven’t gone anywhere, have they? That Keith still wants to be famous, and loved. And did you see that Manisha crying? Bet any money there was more than they’re telling. Times like these, people get vicious.
JODY MARSH: We’re not like that at Abel!
ROSE: Oh yeah? There’s that lady Sheila out in the tree house. Little light of a torch shows she’s there in the dark. One of those zombies might be able to climb, or she’ll starve or thirst to death. Think we’re going to rescue her? [laughs] People only care about themselves when you get down to it.
JODY MARSH: At least she’s safe there.
ROSE: Aye, for now.
JODY MARSH: Okay, Callum. Rest in peace there, I guess. At least the apocalypse is over for you, now.
[recorder fast forwards]
CHRIS MCSHELL: Everyone, if we’re searching the house, take one of my field audio recorders. A full record means I can review the evidence.
ROSE: Who died and made you Sherlock Holmes?
CHRIS MCSHELL: Callum died. Listen, none of you has to listen to me. All I am is… I’ve always been good at thinking things through. And Jody understands people. And we’re ruled out as suspects.
JODY MARSH: Yeah! We were the first out to the door, and the last back. I had to lead Chris in both directions because he’s blind, remember?
MANISHA: Yes, that’s right.
JODY MARSH: Chris is… look, he’s what he says he is. He notices stuff. He’s a scientist. He’s done all this work on zombie behavior. I mean, I know I complain, but really, he’s kind of brilliant.
CHRIS MCSHELL: [laughs] Don’t say that! Anyway, you’re far cleverer than I am. The way you know what people are thinking -
GERI: I mean, look, can you two just stop flirting?
JODY MARSH: We’re not! I mean, it’s not – I mean, there’s no need to let us investigate, but we all want to find out what happened here, and me and Chris will try and work it out. Any objections?
CHRIS MCSHELL: Right. Rose, you and Geri take the central portion of the house. Manisha, you’ll come with me and Jody to explore the west wing. Uh, Prof and Keith, you’ll go -
KEITH: I won’t. I’m not going anywhere.
GERI: Oh yeah? You confessing to the murder? Because if you don’t want to find out who the murderer is, you’re it, man.
KEITH: I didn’t kill him!
CHRIS MCSHELL: Fine! You’ll go with the Prof to explore the east wing. Everyone back here in one hour.
[chairs scrape across floor, recorder fast forwards]
JODY MARSH: Ah, a massive pool table!
CHRIS MCSHELL: Wood paneling?
MANISHA: Yes, floor to ceiling.
CHRIS MCSHELL: It’s a billiards room
JODY MARSH: What’s the difference between pool and billiards?
MANISHA: About three tax brackets. Nothing in here, is there?
CHRIS MCSHELL: Could you feel around the edges of all the panels? I have a theory.
MANISHA: All right. Left wall first. Oh God, I can’t believe Callum’s dead. We’ve been through so much, and now this.
JODY MARSH: Were you… together?
MANISHA: Me? No. No, it wasn’t like that. We’d been friends for years. He… he was there for me when my wife died. He was the only one who really understood what I was going through. And it’s just… while Callum was alive, it felt like I still had something normal. He was a bit of the world before I could hold onto.
JODY MARSH: Yeah. Yeah, I know how that feels.
CHRIS MCSHELL: We all do. I meant to ask -
MANISHA: I think I found something.
[door creaks open]
JODY MARSH: Whoa!
CHRIS MCSHELL: Please remember I can’t see it.
MANISHA: It’s some kind of control panel. Wow! We’ve found out one thing: we know who owns this place.
JODY MARSH: Aw yeah! Look at that! Chris, there’s a logo on the inside here, stenciled “Property of Pandora Haze.”
MANISHA: That’s a weird coincidence. Callum did that big story on Pandora Haze. Years ago now, though.
JODY MARSH: Might find out more if we turn on this control panel. Hey, perhaps there are security cameras and we can see what the others are doing. Okay… nothing doing.
CHRIS MCSHELL: They’re not working at all?
JODY MARSH: It’s weird. The red power light’s on, but they just won’t turn on.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Interesting…
MANISHA: Is it? Seems completely dull to me. [sighs] If we get out of here, I don’t know what I will do now. Callum had these missions – meet up with sources, trade intel. I’d have fallen to pieces without him, and Keith.
CHRIS MCSHELL: I’ve been meaning to ask to ask – why were you along for the visit to Keith’s house? You seemed a little, uh, abrupt when we asked.
MANISHA: Oh, that… It all seems silly, now. I was there because I wanted to sleep with Keith.
CHRIS MCSHELL and JODY MARSH: Keith?!
MANISHA: [laughs] No, I know! But look at him. He’s hot! I just thought, with all the things that have happened to me, you know, why shouldn’t I sleep with a really hot celebrity? Why can’t I have that? I bet you both think things like that. You’re at it like rabbits in those townships. You two have probably slept together, right?
JODY MARSH: Uh, no. Have you slept with Keith?
MANISHA: The time hasn’t been right somehow, what with all the death.
[recorder fast forwards]
JODY MARHS: Okay, Chris, so I’ve got everyone else’s field recorders here.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Play Geri and Rose first, then the Prof and Keith.
JODY MARSH: Okay, here we go.
[recorder fast forwards]
GERI: Like you said, Rose, Callum left his phone on the kitchen table. Hey, it’s still charged! He’s got voice mail. Hey, if Lisa – that’s my girlfriend – if she had a phone, I could just call her. But she doesn’t.
ROSE: Give that to me.
GERI: Uh, finders keepers, losers weepers! [laughs] Oh, I should give it to Manisha and Keith. If they didn’t kill him. Unless you had some special reason you should get his stuff.
ROSE: What do you mean by that?
GERI: Oh, nothing. [laughs] Nothing, just seems like you might know more than you’re saying. What’s your secret?
ROSE: I’ve done worse things than you’ll ever know. And when my doom comes to greet me, as it will, I’ll welcome it like a lover.
GERI: Okay… serves me right for asking. Look, back here are some utility rooms. Want to rifle through the laundry with me?
[door creaks open]
ROSE: Washing machines. Deadly.
[door creaks open]
GERI: Here are the lawn mowers. Oh, wow, it’s those ride-on ones. Fun.
[door opens]
ROSE: And here’s the – oh. Someone’s been here before us.
GERI: Emergency signal room. Radio broadcasting stuff, aerials going up the side of the building. Transmitter there, receiving equipment’s over here.
ROSE: Except someone’s smashed it to bits.
[recorder fast forwards]
[door creaks open]
PROF: You can come in, Keith. It’s another bedroom. Rococo style.
KEITH: No zombies?
PROF: No.
KEITH: No murderers?
PROF: Not unless I suddenly decide to bludgeon you to death, Keith.
KEITH: Do not make jokes like that, Prof. I just can’t take one more shock today – [screams] What’s that?! There’s a hand under the bed, a gloved hand! Oh, reaching out for us, it’s a horrible zombie hand!!
PROF: Where? Oh. I think that’s just a… it’s just a glove, Keith. Hmm. There is something here.
KEITH: Well, don’t move it! It might be a body.
PROF: It’s a satchel.
KEITH: Oh.
PROF: There’s a laptop in here, and an ID pass. It’s Callum’s bag. [someone screams in the distance] Keith, there’s really nothing here to alarm you.
KEITH: It’s not me, it’s her. The lady in the tree house, it’s her screaming!
SHEILA: Help me!
[recorder fast forwards]
SHEILA: Help! Help me! I’m falling!
ROSE: Aye, if she keeps screaming -
JODY MARSH: We have to rescue her!
ROSE: I’m not risking my neck for her.
MANISHA: Nor me. We’re safe in here.
SHEILA: Oh, please help! Please!
PROF: I would, of course, help, but my research is… well, I simply think it’s too valuable to risk.
GERI: You’re too valuable? Convenient. No one’s indispensable, old man! If there’s a plan, I’ll help.
KEITH: I will, too.
MANISHA: Really?
KEITH: I will. We can’t just leave her there. It’s too much now. I just can’t.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Can any of you fire a gun? We found some hunting rifles downstairs.
KEITH: I did Celebrity Clay Pigeon. I came third after Tara Palmer-Thompkinson and will.i.am.
GERI: I’ve had a go, at uni.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Jody, I think we know what to do.
[recorder fast forwards]
SHEILA: [screams] Help me!
PROF: You’re just going to run? Are you sure? It seems so primitive.
JODY MARSH: That’s what works these days, Prof – the basics. We’ve got to be quick. Sun’s setting. It’ll be harder after dark.
MANISHA: Won’t the zombies zombie you?
JODY MARSH: Only if they catch me.
CHRIS MCSHELL: The maximum speed of most zombies is significantly less than a living human. If a trained runner uses an audible lure, then they can easily -
GERI: You’re going to run around making a noise and get them to chase you.
ROSE: Away from the lady in the trees?
JODY MARSH: Yeah, that’s it.
MANISHA: That’s actually really clever.
KEITH: God, you’re brave! Are you sure they won’t get you?
JODY MARSH: Never sure, but you’ve got your rifles to cover me, right?
CHRIS MCSHELL: Ready, Jody?
JODY MARSH: [rings bell] Got my noisemaker!
CHRIS MCSHELL: Geri, Keith, ready?
KEITH: Yup.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Make sure your aim is good.
JODY MARSH: [rings bell] Come on, you horrible ugly dead things! Follow me! Come on! You’re not going to kill me, are you? Just leave the nice lady in the tree alone. Shamble after me.
KEITH: They’re following her! Oh. The zombies are following her.
CHRIS MCSHELL: Steady hands, please. As they spread out, you should have a good shot.
GERI: [gunshot] Yes! Got one. Keep coming, Jody.
KEITH: [gunshot] Ah! [gunshot] No! [gunshot] Almost. [gunshot] No! [gunshot] Come on! [gunshot] Yes! Ha, I got one! Yeah! [laughs] That’s more satisfying than when I beat The Rock at Celebrity Bowls.
GERI: [gunshot] Gotcha! [two gunshots] Ah, that’s it!
KEITH: Yeah!
GERI: They’re all down. Let’s get the lady out of the tree.
[recorder fast forwards]
SHEILA: Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! I thought I’d die out there.
JODY MARSH: It’s okay. You’re safe now.
SHEILA: I’m Sheila, by the way. Sheila Anthwaite.
[door creaks open]
SHEILA: Well, this is posh, isn’t it? Fallen on our feet here. Safe as houses!
PROF: We should tell you something -
KEITH: Don’t tell her yet, Prof. Time for that after you’ve had a cup of tea and a slice of Genoise, Sheila.
MANISHA: Nothing to worry about here.
KEITH: What’s that noise?
GERI: Oh man, I’d hoped we’d be lucky.
PROF: Luck’s not been on our side lately.
CHRIS MCSHELL: What’s happening?
MANISHA: Oh God… they’re coming.
SHEILA: Oh, the way they walk. Slow, but you know they’ll never stop. All broken, their joints bending in...ways!
ROSE: They’re death, coming for us!
GERI: The fence is breached, Chris. [ominous music plays] The zombies are through!
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