"Land of Confusion" is the twentieth mission of The Home Front.
You're in uncharted territory as you head into the unmapped parts of Spectrum Mall. Can you find what's disrupting the antenna signal?
EXERCISES: Forearm Plank, Bicep Curl, Step Up, Air Punch, Wall Sit
Cast[]
Plot[]
Last Floor Down
Sam rouses you – there's a lift that doesn't appear on the mall blueprint, just like the secret floor you want to access. It might be the only way to get to whatever is messing with the comms signal. The lift is on a timer, and should arrive ... now. Don't step in! Something has ripped the floor out, so you'll have to plank over the gap. Support yourself on your forearms and feet and lock your core. The lift ascends towards the secret floor.
Coded Signals
The lift doors open onto the secret floor. It's done up like a tacky 80s party pad. A Mac on the desk is on standby, but low on power. There's a hand crank – crank the handle with the same movement you've used for bicep curls. The computer log shows it's been sending coded signals from the rooftop antenna – that's what's been blocking the signal! Sam tells you how to set the computer to accept input signals so he can hack it. It's full of texts about vampirism, demonology, and photos of a man with slicked-back hair. There's a noise from the balcony above you.
Figure in Black
A voice booms over the PA! It's an automated message from Artemus Thurman, founder of the Spectrum Mall, letting you know you'll be sued for snooping on his personal computer. Stair-step up that spiral staircase to investigate the noise that came from the balcony. Sam remembers that Artemus Thurman was the man from the photo; an 80s property mogul who was into the occult and died in 1991 in a skiing accident! You emerge into a cocktail bar, but someone has seen you coming. There's a flurry of movement further up on the balcony and a black-clad figure dashes past the cams. The camera shuts off as they pass, just like when you hid in that cupboard.
Zoms in Chains
You've made it to the balcony, which is Thurman's old bedroom. There's a fish tank full of dead fish and floating dolls' heads. You track the figure into a cavernous walk-in wardrobe, packed with full-length mirrors and mannequins. There are zoms in 80s evening wear chained to the floor! The figure has escaped out of the far exit – put on some leather gloves and punch the chained zombies out of your way as you give chase. But what Sam thought was a door is a mirror! Where is the real door amongst the reflections? Keep punching until you can find it!
Shutter Closed
You've found the door, and it leads into a private car park. The zoms hammer the door behind you, so you do a wall-sit to keep it shut. Stand with your back against the door and plant your feet shoulder-width apart. Slide down until your thighs and calves are at right-angles, with your head, back, and backside against the door. The shadowy figure is haring down the ramp towards the exit, but the shutter is closed. Sam plays Thurman's voice files in his suite to draw the zoms away from you. Oh no – the figure has opened the shutters and disappeared into a horde of zombies. There's nothing you can do for them. Maybe keep in your wall-sit to be sure all the wardrobe zoms have gone, then head back to the mall.
Impossible
With you in the mall, Sam has spotted something very odd. The figure in black is ... running through the crowd of zombies? They're letting them pass, like they're invisible. Impossible. Until Sam talks to Janine, you should hide in a store and get some rest. You're going to need it.
Transcript[]
SAM YAO: Okay Five, you’re in position. Sorry to drag you out of your hiding spot in the early hours. I know you don’t get enough sleep stuck in a mall full of zoms. Maybe do some star jumps or high knee walking to help you wake up. Now see the lift in front of you? It’s not on the blueprints for the Spectrum shopping center, just like the secret floor we’ve been looking for a way into. Something on that floor is still messing with our comm mast on the roof, and Janine’s sure the lift’s our ticket in. She wants you to take a ride in it. Only problem is it’s on some weird kind of daily timer. Cams see it open once every morning, and it should be along any second now.
[elevator bell dings, door creaks open]
No, wait! Wait, Five, don’t step inside. Look at the lift floor. There’s a massive hole in it, like someone’s ripped most of the flooring out, just left scraps around the edges. How does that even happen? Well, luckily there’s just enough floor left around the edges to support you. Get inside, then get into a plank position. Yeah, lie on your front with your forearms and feet on either side of the hole and your belly over it. Yeah, that’s it. Put your weight on your forearms and toes and lock your core.
[door creaks shut]
Okay, going up. The blank area on the blueprints is four floors up. You plank, I’ll count them off. One floor down, I think. The lift isn’t stopping, but all the lifts in the mall have a standard speed. I keep wondering, is the secret floor linked to the shadowy thing that trapped you in a cupboard? Sorry, this probably isn’t reassuring.
One floor left. Hold that plank. Try not to think about that lift shaft underneath you. That’s the last floor down. You should be entering the part of the blueprints that’s just marked "Void". Lift doors will be opening any second now. Keep planking until you’re sure it’s stopped, then get out of there. Whatever’s on the secret floor, we’re about to find out.
[elevator bell dings, door creaks open]
SAM YAO: This must be it, the secret floor. Oh… well, now you’re in there, I’ve suddenly been granted cam access. Well, I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t tacky hotel suite. Hey, what is this place? Leopard print furniture, lava lamps, giant mural of Ronald Reagan. That’s… unsettling.
There’s a computer on the desk, looks like one of those 80s portable Macs. Try to get it running, Five. [keyboard clicks, computer beeps] Huh, that’s weird. It was already on, just hibernating. It’s low on power, though. The black box it’s connected to is a hand crank generator. Someone wanted to be able to charge the Mac if the mall lost power.
Five, start cranking the handle. Pull it up and down like the bicep curls we practiced. Okay, the battery icon’s filling up. Ah, there’s a text log on the screen above it. Uh, you keep cranking. The log shows this computer’s been sending signals via the rooftop mast. That’s what’s disrupting our comms. Hit the enter key three times. Don’t stop cranking. Uh, use your nose. Okay, you set the computer to accept input from the mast. I can hack into it that way. Keep cranking. The battery’s nearly half full.
There are some really strange files on the computer. Texts on vampirism, demonology, pictures of some guy with slicked-back hair. He looks vaguely familiar. [muffled thumping] Five, stop a second. Did you hear that? There’s a balcony above you. The suite has an upper level. The sound came from there.
We’ll check it out in a bit. Keep cranking the generator until the battery icon looks full. We don’t want this thing dying on us. After that, we’ll look for a way up to the balcony. The signals the computer sent are all coded. If whoever set this up is still around, maybe they can tell us what it’s for.
RECORDED VOICE: Hello, trespasser. Artemus Thurman here, founder of the Spectrum Mall. If you’re hearing this, you’re poking around my personal computer, so good news! You’ve won a genuine Thurman lawsuit to teach you the most valuable lesson of all, private property is god! Now get the hell out of my house, you filthy communist!
SAM YAO: Sorry, Five, that was my fault. There are encrypted files on this computer. Apparently, that message plays over the PA if you try to access one. Look, there’s a spiral staircase leading up to the balcony. Maybe we can find whoever made that noise earlier. Start stair stepping, Five, fast as you can manage. That’s a lot of stairs, Five. Best speed up.
Thurman… I know that name. He’s the guy in the pictures, big property mogul. His company built this place in the 80s. This must be his tacky suite. You’re halfway up, Five. Thurman’s got a following on ROFFLEnet. He was super eccentric, into the occult. One of his properties was shaped like a pentagram. I guess it makes sense he’d have a secret den. The thing is, Thurman died in ‘91. Skiing accident, very public, huge funeral. So who’s still using his suite, and why are they sending signals from his old computer?
You’re at the top, Five. Looks like that’s...a cocktail bar. There’s another staircase behind the bar. It’ll take you to the balcony. [muffled thumping] Someone’s seen you coming. A big burst of movement from upstairs. A figure in black just darted past a cam. The cam shut off just as they passed, just like the cams did with the thing that trapped you in a cupboard, remember? Five, better take the last steps at your own pace. Whoever - whatever - you’re after, I don’t think you want to be out of breath when you catch up.
SAM YAO: Okay Five, you’re on the balcony. Based on the bed, I guess this was Thurman’s bedroom. I like the aquarium walls. Shame all the fish are dead. And...there are beheaded dolls floating in the water. Yeah. Through the door to your left, Five. Our new friend was going that way.
[door opens] Oh wow, is this a massive walk-in wardrobe? It’s-it’s like a forest of clothes racks and mannequins and full body mirrors lit in flashing neon. I guess Thurman liked to party while he was dressing up. [zombies moan, chains rattle] Oh, careful Five, there are zoms chained to the floor between some mannequins. They’re wearing… they’re wearing fancy suits with shoulder pads. I mean, why? Who did this?
[door slams in the distance]
There, someone just went through a door straight ahead. After them, quick! There are chained zoms in your path. Yeah, grab the leather gloves from the dresser. The zoms can’t chase you. Put the gloves on and punch them aside. Go! A zom’s lunging from your left. Punch it away! Yes! Nice hit, Five. You’re halfway to the door, Five. That’s it, punch those zoms right off their feet! Hurry, Five! Some zoms behind you have torn free of their chains. Well, they’ve torn free of their ankles where the chains were. They’re crawling after you.
You’re there! You’re at the door, which is… which is a mirror. Oh hell, you were chasing a reflection. The zoms are closing in. I can see the door reflected in a dozen other places near you. Oh God, half the walls are mirrors! The real door has to be around there somewhere. Keep trying doors until you find the right one, and don’t stop punching! There are still plenty of chained zoms around. Keep punching until you find the door. Go!
[door opens]
SAM YAO: That’s it, Five! You’re through the door and you’ve found a little private car park with a ramp leading down the side of the mall to the ground. Now that wasn’t on the blueprints, either. Guess Thurman was paranoid enough to have an escape route in his wardrobe. The zoms are right behind you. Use your body to hold the door closed.
Do a wall sit. Stand with your back straight against the door, put your feet shoulder-width apart, then slide down until your thighs and calves are at a 90 degree angle with your back, head, and backside braced against the door. Keep it shut, Five. And there’s our shadowy friend running down the ramp ahead of you. Oh, don’t worry, it’s a dead end. There’s a shutter at the bottom. That door won’t hold long. Keep wall sitting, Five. I’ve got an idea.
RECORDED VOICE: Oh, I see you’re still hacking my files. Know why I recorded multiple messages for this? Because the PA cost four million dollars and I always get my money’s worth.
SAM YAO: Is it working, Five? I found Thurman’s audio files. I’m playing them over the PA in his suite. The noise should attract the zoms.
RECORDED VOICE: Stephen! Stephen, is this thing recording? No, I have no idea. This is why I keep telling you personal computing isn’t bad. Video watches, that’s the future! You mark my -
SAM YAO: Okay, you can relax a little, Five. The zoms are drifting off to Thurman’s suite. It worked! Our shadowy friend’s down at the bottom of that ramp. It ends in an exit shutter. Whoever that is, we’ve got them. The superhorde’s surrounding the mall, they can’t get outside. And it seems like they can’t mess with my cams if I zoom far enough away. I can’t make out their face, though.
[metal shutter opens] What - what are you doing? No, you idiot, stop! That figure just raised the shutter and went outside. The horde just swallowed them. The shutter’s closed behind them. They’re…they’re gone. They were so desperate to escape, they ran into the horde! Oh God, Five, what if it was just someone who was scared because we were chasing them?
Oh… Yeah, look, you’d better get back into the main mall. Maybe wall sit for a bit first, make absolutely certain the shutter sound didn’t attract more zoms, then head back to the shopping area. Whoever that was, Five, the poor soul’s gone now.
SAM YAO: Glad you made it back into the shopping area, Five. Not exactly home, but it’ll do for now. Wait! Wait. That-that-that can’t be right. Five, look out the window to your left. You see the horde below, right? Thousands of zoms. Only...now look close. There’s a figure dressed in black running through the zoms. It’s-it’s the person you were chasing, Five! They didn’t die, the zoms are just-just letting them push past. It’s like the zoms don’t even see them. That’s-that’s impossible.
I’ve got to take this to Janine. Five, that clothes store looks like a good place to hide. Duck inside, get some rest. I think… I think you’re gonna need it, because whatever’s happening in that mall, it’s way, way stranger than any of us thought.
Codex[]
Letter[]
Hey Runner Five!
I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing after all the weirdness today. Trust us to find the ONE shopping centre in all of Britain with a super secret hidden floor. I honestly don't know what was more unsettling- all those zoms chained to the floor, or those creepy headless dolls floating around in that aquarium. Eurgh. It was like something out of a David Lynch movie, except with even more shoulder-pads.
I know it's been a stressful day, but do try to rest up if you can, okay? We're still trying to track down our mysterious, zombie-proof stranger, but I'll let you know the SECOND we have more information. You did really, really well today, Five - I hope you know that.
Love,
Sam
Supplies[]
The following supplies can be found in this mission.
(List may be incomplete.)
Anti-depressants
Baseball Bat
Board game
Candles
Dress
First Aid Kit
Flashlight
Football
Laptop
Makeup
Mobile Phone
Overcoat
Shirt
Shorts
Sports Bra
Trainers
Umbrella
Underwear
Whisky
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