You and Runner 8 set off on a mission to help Maxine learn a little more about how dog whistles affect the fast zoms.
Terrible Danger Guaranteed Edit
You and Runner 8 set off on a mission to help Maxine learn a little more about how sound affects the fast zoms.
So Much For Risk Free Edit
Runner 8 reveals that a dog bit her, not a zombie, and when she did not turn but was followed to the beach by zoms, she escaped in a rowing boat.
Stop Whistling And Run Edit
Maxine suggests splitting up and using your whistles to confuse the zombies as you and Runner 8 are surrounded.
Throwing Rocks?! Edit
Archie and Jamie come to the rescue, armed with dog whistles. Just as Maxine thinks you're safe, Sam notices that the zoms are throwing rocks at you.
Staffie With A Hangover Edit
Jamie outsmarts the zoms, luring them into a concealed river. Archie celebrates Jamie's brilliance by blowing her whistle, which attracts every dog in the vicinity.
The Most Adorable Thing Ever Edit
Sam hears a whining and suspects Archie, but it's actually an adorable puppy that has followed you home. Jamie gives Archie the puppy as romantic gesture.
SAM YAO: Runner Five, Runner Eight, ready to head out?
SARA SMITH: Kitted up and ready to go, Sam. You know us.
SAM YAO: Music to my ears. Dog whistles? [whistles sound] Ooh, yeah, yeah, that’s slightly less musical. Alrighty then, let’s raise the gates! [gate siren, gates raising] Covering fire! [gunshots] And off you go!
MAXINE MYERS: You ever get tired of saying that?
SAM YAO: Not really. It’s my mantra. It’s like my version of Om Mani Padme Hum, only a little bit less soothing.
MAXINE MYERS: Okay. Eight, Five? It’s an important one, today. We want to find out a little more about how sound affects the fast zoms. A few of them are taking out the cameras on the high street right now.
SAM YAO: Little do they know, we’ve got you all kitted out with headcams now. Take that, Van Ark!
MAXINE MYERS: So, we’ll still be able to keep an eye on you as you liaise with Archie and Jamie. We want you to experiment. Figure out exactly which sounds they respond to. There are only a couple of zoms out, so the risks should be low.
SAM YAO: Oh, you had to say it, didn’t you? Every time.
MAXINE MYERS: Take the left at the roundabout and follow the signs to the town center.
SAM YAO: While keeping an eye out for the terrible danger Maxine’s guaranteed you’re going to encounter.
MAXINE MYERS: [whispers] Oh, don’t be such a baby.
SARA SMITH: You and me, out on a run. Just like old times, isn’t it, Five?
SAM YAO: I never thought I’d see the day. Well, mainly because you were… well, you know. Bitten by a zombie.
SARA SMITH: It was a dog.
SAM YAO: A zombie dog? I thought that was impossible.
SARA SMITH: No, just an ordinary dog. A pack of them had been following the zoms around, scavenging their leavings, I suppose. When the zoms got me on the ground, a couple of those damn dogs attacked, and when I’d fought them all off, I saw I was bitten. Can’t take chances, couldn’t stay with Five in case I turned. I spent five days heading down the coast, just waiting for the gray to take me. I kept one bullet in my gun. I thought when I started to feel it come, I’d do the decent thing, on the shore, so the tide would carry me away.
SAM YAO: Yeah, that’s… yeah, that’s pretty horrible.
SARA SMITH: It was peaceful, really. Thinking everything was over. Less peaceful when I realized it wasn’t going to happen, and I had one bullet in my gun, and a horde of zombies were descending on the beach. I took a small rowing boat out, just to get away. And well, you know how that ended.
SAM YAO: Yeah, well, last survivors of the Aurora left today for somewhere else. Whatever creepy as hell thing was going on on that boat, it’s nothing to do with us anymore. So, it wasn’t a zombie bite? You’re sure it wasn’t a zombie bite?
SARA SMITH: Do I look gray to you, Five?
MAXINE MYERS: Perhaps it was the vaccine the Army gave you! Maybe it actually worked!
SARA SMITH: I wondered that, too. So I asked the ship’s doctor to inspect the bite. Definitely canine. You can take a look at the scar if you like. Took a chunk out of my thigh. Sorry, Doctor Myers. Don’t want to get your hopes up.
SAM YAO: Jesus, where did they come from?
SARA SMITH: Side street. There’s five of them, and they’re all fast. So much for this being risk-free -
SAM YAO: Sorry, sorry, sorry! It’s these headcams – I can only see where you’re facing. Um, uh, there, there, ahead of you. Um, run through Waitrose, and you can get out through the car park.
SARA SMITH: Come on, Five! Death at our heels, only a slim chance of escape ahead – this really is like old times!
SAM YAO: Runner Five, can you look back without slowing down? Um, I need to see where the zoms are. Aw, dammit! Ten of them now, and there’s five circling to your left, past the trolley drop-off point. They’re trying to flank you.
SARA SMITH: We know that, Sam. You’re looking out of our headcams.
MAXINE MYERS: You’ll have to split up!
SAM YAO: I’m not sure…
MAXINE MYERS: Use the whistles. If you find the right tone, you might be able to confuse them.
SARA SMITH: Good thought, Maxine. Five, break right, towards that burnt-out Jeep. I’ll go left. Blow on my count! [footsteps] Five, four, three, two, one – blow! [whistles]
MAXINE MYERS: Nothing! Try varying the speed and rhythm.
SAM YAO: Oh, yeah, that’s it, Five! Whatever you’re did, keep doing it! They’re all going after you. All seventeen of them. Um, yeah, you might want to stop whistling and run.
MAXINE MYERS: Doing well, Runner Five. No, eyes front. We’ve got you on the street cam, now. Two of the zoms have gone - pretty much disintegrated - and the rest are ten feet back.
SAM YAO: Yeah, but don’t, well, you know, slow down. In fact, you might want to think about speeding up. Hang on, what’s that? Is that -
MAXINE MYERS: Oh, bad news, Runner Five. Two more coming in from that copse of trees dead ahead. [whistle sounds] Stop whistling, Five! They’re chasing you already!
SAM YAO: No, no, it’s not Runner Five. It’s Archie and Jamie. Look, coming out of the woods! Um, I’m picking up their headcam signals now.
MAXINE MYERS: Right. The zoms have heard, they’re turning away.
SAM YAO: Hang on, hang on, are they – are the zoms picking up rocks?
MAXINE MYERS: I think they are. They’re throwing them! Did the whistles do that? Do the tones make them more intelligent, or are there specific commands? Hey, it might explain why they were able to operate the rocket launcher -
SAM YAO: Who cares?! One of those stones nearly brained Runner Five! Get out of there, Five, now!
ARCHIE JENSEN: Oh, ow! The zombies are throwing rocks! There are twenty-five zombies, and they’re all throwing rocks. How fascinating! I’ve never seen a zombie throw a rock before. They all throw underhand. Hmm, I wonder if that’s because some muscles have withered more than others.
SAM YAO: Are you okay?
JAMIE SKEET: Ow!
ARCHIE JENSEN: Runner Five is limping, and Jamie is hit. The zombies are not slowing down. They can throw like humans, but they do not tire like humans. This is a bad combination.
SAM YAO: Yeah, yeah. Can you, uh, separate and make a run for it?
JAMIE SKEET: You’re alright, I’ve got this. [whistles]
MAXINE MYERS: You’re only going to make it worse.
ARCHIE JENSEN: Worse than being chased by twenty zombies who are fast and also throwing rocks?
SAM YAO: Yeah, she’s got a point.
JAMIE SKEET: Come on! [whistles] I ain’t going nowhere. Come and get me! [splashes through running water]
SAM YAO: Oh no, oh no! Oh…
JAMIE SKEET: Man, that was beautiful. Got the lot of them!
SAM YAO: I didn’t realize that river was there!
MAXINE MYERS: And neither did the zoms. I guess the compulsion to follow the whistle overrode any other command they were following. Nice play, Jamie!
ARCHIE JENSEN: Yes! Although he might not show it, Jamie is brilliant! Brilliant meaning “clever”, not “shiny”. Although he’s also quite shiny with sweat. [laughs] He’s both types of brilliant! Are there any other types of brilliant? Maybe you could be those, too! [whistles]
JAMIE SKEET: No more zombies around, darling?
ARCHIE JENSEN: I know, but whistling is also for celebrating, and I’m celebrating how brilliant you are. [whistles]
SAM YAO: Uh, guys? So, uh, the upside of dog whistles – they control zombies. The downside of dog whistles – they make zombies throw stones, and maybe fire rocket launchers. Also, they attract every single feral dog in the entire country.
MAXINE MYERS: And there’s a pack of at least thirty headed your way.
ARCHIE JENSEN: I am not afraid of dogs.
JAMIE SKEET: That’s because you didn’t grow up down the Balls Pond Road. Ever see a staffie with a hangover?
SAM YAO: Okay, guys, you’re out of the woods, so visibility’s good. I see no zoms, and no dogs. Uh… what’s that? I can’t see – Archie? Was that you?
JAMIE SKEET: No, man! It’s a puppy! Here, I’ll grab it.
SAM YAO: Oh my God! Oh, that is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen! It’s so tiny! Oh, his little tiny waggy tail, his big brown eyes, and his little pink tongue lolled out!
JAMIE SKEET: Look at them paws, though. You wait until he grows up. Going to be bigger than a donkey. Here, Archie, you take it.
ARCHIE JENSEN: [gasps, squeaks] For me? My own puppy?
JAMIE SKEET: I don’t want it, do I?
SAM YAO: Hmm, no, that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.
ARCHIE JENSEN: It is! Jamie has given me a puppy! He is the best boyfriend in the whole of the post-apocalypse world! [puppy barks] Except maybe Rufus, but I think he was eaten. [snorts] You are still the best one, Jamie!
MAXINE MYERS: Come back to Abel, runners. That test has given us a lot to figure out.
JAMIE SKEET: Yeah, you ain’t wrong, Arch.
ARCHIE JENSEN: He is licking my face, now!
SAM YAO: That’s, uh, the puppy, rather than Jamie? Yeah, actually, I don’t want to know. Come on home, guys.