"Daddy Lessons" is the thirtieth mission of The Home Front.
A secret bunker, a cursed book, and a secret revealed. Will you discover the truth about Artemus Thurman?
EXERCISES: Bicep Curl, Jumping Jack, Forward Lunge, Air Punch, Step Up
Cast[]
- Sam Yao
- Dr. McBride
- Artemus Thurman
Plot[]
Cut Out Face[]
You arrive at the door of Thurman's bunker which is decorated with a sigil of a bleeding eye. You'll want to warm up before you head in. There's been no sign of Thurman since you escaped the underground town, but the tape you found in the lab gave you a clue about the bunker. Dr McBride explains that Thurman kidnapped them, even though Thurman was supposed to be dead. The tape explains where the code for the bunker is. Sam uses the cameras to find out the code, but it doesn't work. Keep warming up while Sam tries to figure it out.
Crack the Code[]
The bunker lock is electronic, and the power is down, so you'll need to crank it on with some Bicep Curls. Janine has been looking into Thurman, and believes he used fear of the occult to manipulate his employees. 1875 is the year Aleister Crowley was born, and he talked about being in two places at once via 'astral travel'. There's definitely something weird going on. The generator is back online, so enter the code again, crank the generator for a little longer, and get going!
A Moment's Thought[]
You enter the bunker and a recording of Thurman greets you with the name of Thurman's son 'Brandon'. Thurman insults and berates Brandon and says he has prepared tests for Brandon to prove himself. Suddenly darts fly at you. Better do Jumping Jacks to avoid them! The darts finally stop. Sam hopes that Brandon, wherever he is, never gives his father a moment's thought.
Heroes and Villains[]
You enter a room with an arcade cabinet, depicting Karl Marx. Thurman instructs you to decide if he was a hero or a parasite, but the arcade levers have corroded. You need to do a Forward Lunge to activate the levers on the floor. You do that and are given more choices to make. It seems to alternate between people considers to be heroes and villains, so keep lunging with alternate feet. The door finally opens so you can press on.
Goodbye K9[]
You reach a chamber with an altar, and Thurman's recording talks about harnessing animal spirits through ritual sacrifice. Thankfully there aren't any live animals here, but there are some robot dogs which you need to fight off with Punches! You'd better keep going to find out Thurman's plan.
Just Climb the Stairs[]
Sam searched for Brandon Thurman on ROFFLENET but couldn't find anything at all. Thurman's recording reveals that he was looking for the secret of immortality. He had been testing Brandon to see if he was worthy by making him suffer. The final test is to renounce all that you love, but Sam says you should just climb the stairs.
Contingency[]
The next room contains a glass coffin covered in tubes and wires, but all that's inside is a desiccated corpse - Artemus Thurman. Every switch to the machine has been turned off and there's a note which says 'See you in hell, Dad. B.' But if Thurman is dead, then who, or what, has been chasing you? The bunker is rumbling and Thurman's recording tells you that there's a contingency plan for if his physical state deteriorates too far.
Transcript[]
SAM YAO: Okay Five, you’re outside Thurman’s bunker. There’s a… there’s a lovely occult sigil of uh… a bleeding eye on the door. And we don’t know what’s inside, so warm up just in case. Stretch, jog on the spot, whatever you need. I want you ready for anything. [sighs] I wish I could say I’m not scared, but I know we’re both scared. It doesn’t feel like three days since you got out of the underground village, does it? It-it sort of like feels like-like a couple of hours and also about two years.
Okay, briefing Janine-style always seems to help me focus. I have carefully checked every single camera in Spectrum Mall, but there’s been no sign of Thurman since he left you in the dumbwaiter. Zombies don’t notice him, so maybe he went out into the horde? The point is this might be our only chance to find out more about him. Specifically, how he can be in two places at once. Oh, and oh yeah, the bunker’s locked with a code. The tape you took from the longevity research lab says where it is. Give it another play.
DR. MCBRIDE: April 9th, 1991. Dr. McBride. I’ve heard keeping a diary can help one make sense of things, and I refuse to lose my mind. Seven months ago, Artemus Thurman fired me for excessive altruism. Weeks later, I watched on my sofa as he attempted the highest ski jump ever built. I was willing him to fail, but only so he’d embarrass himself. I still see his neck snap when I close my eyes. I saw his funeral on the BBC News. It felt like I’d killed him, somehow.
Except two weeks ago, Thurman turned up at my door in the middle of the night and forced me at gunpoint to come with him back to my old lab. It’s deserted. He won’t explain how he survived, only says, “Prepare the bunker for my son. He’ll be here once the dust’s cleared, and there are things inside that explain everything.” The gossip pages say his son hates him. He wasn’t at the funeral. Maybe he knew it was fake, but I can’t say that to Thurman. If I disagree with him on anything, it’s like he doesn’t even hear me. I’m too afraid to argue.
He’s different now to how he was before, some sort of monomania, and he keeps talking about the occult, secret knowledge that will help the chosen to survive. He asked me more than once if I would participate in the ritual with him, and I’m too afraid to answer. There’s something else I’m afraid of. Thurman left tins of food, but they’re running low. If he doesn’t bring some more soon, I’m opening the bunker myself. He told me often enough the code for the bunker is engraved on the frame of Brandon’s portrait in the Thurmanville labs.
SAM YAO: Stop the tape, Five. It gets a bit grim once McBride realizes Thurman’s locked her in the lab and all he’s sending her is plastic fruit. Okay, I’m looking for a portrait. Mmm… Ah! Yeah, I can see it. Boy in a suit, but uh, the actual face has been cut out. That’s creepy. Still, I’ve got the bunker code on cams. It’s um, 1875. Oh, that didn’t work. I’m missing something. Keep warming up, and I’ll figure out how to get you in.
SAM YAO: Okay Five, I’ve worked it out. The bunker lock’s electronic and the power’s down, but the door’s hooked up to the generator, so you just need to crank it up with some bicep curls. So press your elbows into your sides, forearms down, palms facing forwards. Grab the bar with both hands. Now it looks heavy, about the weight of a couple of tin cans? Now bend your elbows to lift the crank to your shoulders, then lower it back down. Careful, don’t hurt yourself. It should take a minute.
Janine’s been looking into some occult stuff since McBride mentioned it. She says Thurman was probably using fear of the supernatural as a way to control and manipulate his employees. She also says 1875 is the year that occultist Aleister Crowley was born. The occult sigil on the door, I wonder if it was from one of Crowley’s books. Apparently, Crowley wrote about being in two places at once via astral travel, but the occult isn’t real. Janine says, “There will be a rational explanation, Mr. Yao,” and she’s right, obviously. But there’s something seriously weird going on.
Okay, you’ve got the generator working, Five. Try the code again. 1875. Yes, the bunker’s open, but you might want to crank the generator a little longer. Don’t want the power going out while you’re inside.
SAM YAO: All right, Five, time to enter Thurman’s bunker.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Brandon! Here at last.
SAM YAO: That’s a recording, Five. Brandon was Thurman’s son. He obviously thought only Brandon would make it in here.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: I trust your journey to post-apocalyptic England wasn’t too arduous. I’m serious. If it’s still a nuclear wasteland, go to the decontamination suite for three weeks and reread my autobiography. You’ve got a lot to live up to. You can’t just rely on your Thurman genes. They’re diluted by your mother’s. Penelope raised you to be a sissy, mommy’s boy.
You were almost six when I last saw you, and you didn’t even know how to box. I hope that black eye taught you a lesson, and the wasteland has hardened you. Regardless, I’ve prepared tests so you can prove you’re worthy of meeting me. If you fail, you’ll die, and good riddance. I’d rather have a dead son than a weak one.
SAM YAO: Five, a dart just flew past your face! Another by your knees! Uh, quick, do some jumping jacks to avoid them. Uh, feet together, arms by your sides. Now jump, spreading your arms and legs in the air so you land in a star shape. That dart almost clipped your ear! Jump back to the starting position. Keep doing those and the darts will miss you.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Still alive, Brandon? These darts are tipped with poison, you know. Ever see The Running Man? Contestants fighting to the death on television, a marvelous idea! The weak are punished and their deaths set an example. Televised combat is just what this country needs. Gladiatorial battles for children, now that’s an idea! Get rid of the weak early and stop them growing into giant wastes of resources.
SAM YAO: [sighs] It’s over. What was wrong with Thurman? He’s treating this like some kind of joke! I mean, it’s one thing to prepare for the future, but this… ! [sighs] I hope wherever he is, Brandon never gives his dad a moment’s thought. Head to the next chamber, Five. If any more darts fly at you, just keep jumping.
SAM YAO: There’s an arcade cabinet in this chamber. Must be another test from Thurman for his son.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: With discipline, strength of mind, and secret knowledge, one can live forever. If you prove worthy, Brandon, I’ll tell you about it.
SAM YAO: Oh, I hate to send you further into that… that bastard’s lair, but we have to know what he knows, Five. He’s too dangerous, and he’s fixated on you. We’ve got to find out how to stop him.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Ever heard of The Grimoire of the Empyrean Oracle, Crowley’s lost manuscript? Explains how to harness occult forces to make reality bend to your will. I bought it for millions, memorized it, then burned it. Couldn’t have anyone else reading it. Sharing is for commies. Besides, they say the book is cursed. Everyone who owned it before me died horribly. Starving, thirsty, trapped and alone. You know why? Because they were unworthy!
You must prove you have the right values. Approach the arcade cabinets. Behold, a computer rendering of Karl Marx. Before you are two buttons, Hero and Parasite. Press the one you think describes Marx. Get it wrong, and the room fills with poison gas.
SAM YAO: [laughs] I’m pretty sure Thurman thinks Marx is a parasite, Five, but the buttons have corroded. The levers on the floor are all that’s left. You can’t stop looking at the screen, I need your head cam, so um… Okay, yep. Lunge and hit the lever with your knee instead. Stand with your feet together. Now step forward with your right leg and lower your back knee so that it almost touches the ground. And raise back up.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: That’s right, Marx was a parasite, and you’ve exterminated him! Here’s Ayn Rand.
SAM YAO: Ugh! Um, yeah, I think Rand wrote a book called The Virtue of Selfishness. Hit the hero button. Lunge with your left foot this time.
ARTEMUS THURMAN Keep going, Brandon! Here’s Robin Hood.
SAM YAO: Looks like Thurman’s alternating heroes and parasites, so keep lunging with alternate feet. Go!
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Ah, Henry Ford. Tore down 5,000 square miles of rainforest to build a private rubber production colony. Excellent man. Yes, Brandon, exterminate those parasites! Halfway there. Oh, Dickens. Reagan. If you become half the man he is, you’ll almost be worth the time I’ve spent on you. You’ve done it, Brandon! If you’d made a single mistake, I’d have gassed you like a rodent.
SAM YAO: A door just opened, Five! If anyone else pops up on that screen, keep lunging. Otherwise, press on.
SAM YAO: Oh, there’s an altar in this chamber, Five! I wonder what that’s for.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: The Grimoire of the Empyrean Oracle explains how to harness animal spirits through ritual sacrifice.
SAM YAO: Of course. Yeah.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Your mother disapproved, Brandon. Called it torture. Well, now’s your chance to prove you don’t hold with the stupid ideas about animal rights. Release the hounds!
SAM YAO: Oh, well surely there aren’t live dogs here. Oh crap, Five, robotic dog heading right for you, glowing red eyes and razor blade teeth! Quick, punch it! Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, left foot back, fists up. Now punch with your right fist. Nice shot, Five! Keep hitting it with your right fist.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: “Save the whales!” Penelope used to say. Hogwash. What have the whales ever done for us? Ever wondered what happened to your gerbil? Rat poison. Taught you a lesson about wasting resources on useless creatures.
SAM YAO: You’ve taken down that robo-dog, Five, but there’s another one! Right, switch stance so your right leg is behind and punch with your left fist. Go!
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Prove you have the stomach to continue Crowley’s work. Show no mercy, Brandon!
SAM YAO: Five, I hope your knuckles are okay after that. Keep going, we’ve got to know what this grimoire actually did. And if you see any more robo-dogs, you know what to do.
SAM YAO: Right, I just searched for Brandon Thurman on ROFFLEnet, but nothing came up, not even gossip like McBride mentioned. It’s like he never existed. Everything about this family is so… just twisted and wrong.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Getting my hands on that grimoire was no picnic, Brandon. Had to hold my nose and venture east of the Iron Curtain, spend a week in a basement in Bucharest getting a man who refused to eat or drink to tell me what he knew. There wasn’t much I could threaten him with, but I found his weak spot in the end. [laughs] After he told me what he knew, I followed Crowley’s trail to India. There are carvings under a temple in Hyderabad, tied all my research together.
Immortality is there for the taking, Brandon, you just have to work for it. You can exist in two places at once. Think about it, working twice as hard, making twice the money! I bulldozed the temple, of course. Full of stupid warnings. The grimoire states that to conquer death, you must overcome an attempt on your life, value strength over weakness, and sacrifice those less valuable than yourself. And at last, you have to be willing to kill.
You’re nearly there, Brandon. I’m almost proud of you. I’ve been testing you all your life. Never sent your mother a penny. Wanted to see if you’d grow up self-reliant. And when I saw that article about you in the FT, “Teenager establishes paper route pyramid scheme,” I knew I’d been successful. There’s only one thing left, Brandon.
The staircase ahead bears blood sigils. It is a shrine to the god Moloch. He demands the sacrifice of love, so as you ascend, you must renounce all that you love, as I have renounced you. Only then will you be granted power over death. Speak the words carved on the stairs as you ascend.
SAM YAO: “I vow to sacrifice to Moloch that which I love. To starve, kill and…” What the…? Don’t say any of that stuff, Five! Don’t even look at it. Just climb the stairs.
SAM YAO: Okay, you’re outside the last chamber, Five. Almost there. And...yeah, your way back is clear. You can get away if anything’s… bad. There’s a glass coffin inside.
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Well, Brandon, you’ve found me. I’ll be taken here after my death. Of course, since I followed the grimoire’s instructions, I won’t really be dead, just sleeping.
SAM YAO: The coffin’s bristling with tubes leading to the machines beside it. Dr. McBride worked in longevity research. Maybe this equipment has been keeping Thurman alive all this time. Yeah, maybe he’s um… uh, you know, zombie-immune because he died, or-or something. Take a closer look.
There’s a desiccated body in the coffin. It’s uh… Yeah, I’m not imagining it, am I, Five? It’s Thurman, but dead. Really, really dead. Oh Five, look at the machine. Every switch has been flipped to off. And is that a note? “See you in hell, dad. B.” Did Brandon come here to turn his dad off? Not that I… [sighs] not that I blame him, really, but… ugh. For his sake, I wish he hadn’t cared this much.
Nothing makes sense, Five! If Thurman’s really dead, then who’s been chasing you? What was that noise? The whole bunker’s shaking!
ARTEMUS THURMAN: Oh Brandon, I’ve installed monitoring systems. If my state deteriorates too far for me to be revived, I have a contingency plan. See you soon, boy.
Codex[]
Letter[]
EUGH. I know Thurman's long dead but just listening to that slime-ball bang on and on about how little he cared about his own son really makes my skin crawl! My dad could drive me a little nuts sometimes, but I don't think it would have ever even occurred to him to talk to my sister or me like that. What an absolute prat Thurman was. Good riddance, honestly.
Please stay safe and look after yourself, Five - there's no WAY we're letting this suspender-wearing, Atlas-Shrugging, child-abusing sociopath be the end of you!
Love,
Sam
See you in hell, Dad.
B.
Supplies[]
The following supplies can be found in this mission.
(List may be incomplete.)
Anti-depressants
Baseball Bat
Board game
Cricket bat
Dress
First Aid Kit
Flashlight
Football
Laptop
Makeup
Mobile Phone
Overcoat
Pain Meds
Shirt
Shorts
Sports Bra
Trainers
Umbrella
Underwear
Whisky
| Missions | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Previous: Redemption at Rackthorn | Next: Face Off | ||